Beyond Birthday: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Unlike most Sweeney Todd/Death Note crossovers, I have chosen not to use Light Yagami as our lead role. Instead, I have cast someone who I have found much more fitting as our demon barber.

THE PLAYERS

Sweeney Todd/Benjamin Barker………………………………...........................Beyond Birthday - culprit behind the LABB Serial murder cases who naturally posses the Shinigami eyes.

Nellie Lovett……………………………….........................................................Katrina Van Ellis - An OC specially created to fill this roll.

Lucy Barker/Beggar Woman……………………………….................................Naomi Misora - A young FBI agent with Japanese origins.

Anthony Hope……………………………….......................................................L “Ryuzaki “ Lawliet - The world’s greatest detective and main opponent of Kira. (Note about this role: what is this I don’t even…)

Johanna Barker……………………………….....................................................Sora “Soar” Amane - An OC that stared in “Shattered” as L’s partner.

Judge Turpin……………………………….........................................................Light Yagami - The highly intelligent student that first picked up the Death Note and became Kira.

Beadle Bamford………………………………....................................................Teru Mikami - Referred to as “X-Kira” by Near and the person Light entrusts his Death Note to.

Adolfo Pirelli………………………………........................................................Hitoshi Demegawa - Director of Sakura TV.

Tobias Ragg………………………………..........................................................Nate “Near” River - The 3rd L and a former orphan of Wammy’s House Orphanage.

Chapter I: No Place like London

A steel-gray sky hung over the Bountiful as she sailed towards port. Though it was just before dawn, the heavens still bore a resemblance to night, and even when the sun rose, the slumbering city would remain a dreary shade throughout the day.

A young sailor stood on the fore-deck, his messy, black hair almost obscuring his vision as he stared wide-eyed at the city before him. He inhaled deeply, noting that the salty air now bore a stench of smog from the various smoke furling over from the chimneys on the mainland. The young man placed this fact aside, assuming that he would get used to it in time; he had waited ages to journey here and would not let a bit of air pollution ruin it for him.

“I have sailed the world,

Beheld its wonders,

From the Dardanelles

To the mountains of Peru.

But there’s no place like London!”

“No, there’s no place like London.”

The sailor paused his song and turned to the man that had arrived on the deck beside him. He and this man were very similar in appearance – there were some on the ship that believed them to be related – though the latter’s hair was slightly longer and more unruly and his eyes were a sinister shade of red.

“Mr. Todd?” he questioned.

Todd acknowledged the sailor with a glance before continuing the song, though it now bore a much darker tone.

“You are young,

Life has been kind to you.

You will learn.”

Todd paused, looking out over the water at the city that was slowly growing closer.

“There’s a hole in the world,

Like a great black pit,

And the vermin of the world inhabit it

And its morals aren’t worth what a pig could spit

And it goes by the name of London.

At the top of the hole sit a privileged few

Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo

Turning beauty into filth and greed I too

Have sailed the world

And seen its wonders,

For the cruelty of man

Is as wondrous as Peru.

But there’s no place like London!”

The Bountiful pulled into dock just as Todd finished his verse, his face contorted in a snarl. The young sailor watched him curiously as their fellow passengers began to disembark.

“I beg your indulgence, Ryuzaki, my mind is far from easy.” The two men were the only people left at the docks, and Todd was looking at the city around them with cautious, haunted eyes. “In these once familiar streets I feel… shadows, everywhere.”

“Shadows?” the younger man questioned.

“Ghosts.” Todd replied, stepping forward a few paces.

“There was a barber and his wife

And she was beautiful.

A foolish barber and his wife,

She was his reason and his life,

And she was beautiful!

And she was virtuous.

And he was... naive."

Todd took a breath, and continued with his story, reliving past events in his mind's eye.

"There was another man who saw

That she was beautiful.

A pious vulture of the law,

Who, with a gesture of his claw

Removed the barber from his plate,

Then there was nothing but to wait.

And she would fall

So soft,

So young,

So lost,

And, oh, so beautiful!"

The man's voice cracked with suppressed emotion, and Ryuzaki gazed at him with pity.

"And the lady? Did she succumb?"

"Oh, that was many years ago.

I doubt if anyone would know." his companion answered sadly.

"I thank you, Ryuzaki. If you hadn't spotted me, I'd be lost on the ocean still." he muttered, turning back to face the young sailor.

"Will I see you again?"

"You might find me, if you like. Around Fleet Street I wouldn't wander."

"Until then, my friend."

The two men shook hands and Todd started on his way down and alley.

"There's a hole in the world

Like a great black pit

And it's filled with people who are filled with shit

And the vermin of the world inhabit it."

Chapter II: The Worst Pies in London

Todd wound his way through the streets of London, weaving past various beggars, bums, and prostitutes. Shops, brothels, and opium dens encased both sides of the streets causing it to remain dark like the interior of a cave. He took a right turn at the Old Bailey and quickly strode several more blocks until a corner of Fleet Street appeared before him.

On this corner sat a two-story building that bore a shabby sign that read “Mrs. Lovett’s Meat Pies.” this being his destination, Todd crossed the street, swerving to avoid an on-coming carriage, and opened the door of the shop, a bell tinkling somewhere in the interior announced his arrival.

The shop’s inside was dark and contained several table and chair sets for customers to sit and eat, a few large windows with moth-eaten curtains, and a wide baking counter. Above this counter was a rack from which hung various cooking utensils and pots. Behind the counter was an iron cook stove, and in front of that stood a woman with mussed, tawny hair bound up in two bunches on either side of her head. Todd recognized this woman as Katrina Lovett, wife of the building’s landowner and matrons of the pie shop.

Katrina sighed as she worked, chopping potatoes to go into the creation of more meat pies. The noise brought about by Todd closing the door of her shop caused her to look up in surprise.

“A customer!” she exclaimed, hazel eyes blazing in delight.

“Wait!

What’s your rush?

What’s your hurry?

You gave me such a

Fright!

I thought you was a ghost!

Have a minute?

Can’t you sit?

Sit you down!

Sit!”

Here, Katrina pushed Todd into one of the chairs, forcing him to sit, before returning to her counter and sprinkling flour over her workspace.

“All I meant is that I haven’t seen a customer for weeks!

Did you come in for a pie, sir?

Do forgive me if my head’s a little vague,

What was that?” she questioned no on in particular, seizing a beetle form the counter, dropping it on the floor and crushing it with her boot.

“But you’d think we had the plague

From the way that people

Keep avoiding-

No you don’t!” she flattened another beetle with her palm then continued her song, wiping her hand on her bodice.

“Heaven knows I try, sir,

But there’s no one comes in, even to inhale.

Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?

Mind you, I can hardly blame them!

These are probably the worst pies in London!

I know why no one cares to take them,

I should know,

I make them!

But good? No!

The worst pies in London!

Even that’s polite,

The worst pies in London!

If you doubt it, take a bite.”

Todd picked up the meat pie that Katrina had placed in front of him mere moments before and tentatively took a bite.

“Is that just disgusting?

You’ll have to concede it.

It’s nothing but crusting,

Here, drink this, you’ll need it.

The worst pies in London!

And no wonder with the price of meat

What it is-

When you get it-

If you get it-

Never-

Thought I’d live to see the day!

Men’d think it was a treat

Finding poor-

Animals-

What are dying in the street!”

Katrina punctuated each pause by slamming her rolling pin down on the dough she was flattening.

“Mrs. Moony has a pie shop-

Does her business, but I’ve noticed something weird-

Lately all her neighbors cats have disappeared-

Have to hand it to her-

What I call-

Enterprise-

Poppin’ pussies into pies!

Wouldn’t do in my shop-

Just the thought of it’s enough to make you sick-

And I’m telling you them pussy cats is quick-

No denying times is hard, sir,

Even harder than the worst pies in London!

Is that just revolting?

All greasy and gritty?

It looks like

It’s molting

And tastes like-

Well, pity,

A woman alone

With limited wind

And the worst pies in London!

Ah, sir,

Times is hard,

Times is hard!”

Almost as though to put emphasis on the completion of her song, Katrina flattened a third beetle with her rolling pin as Todd looked on in mild bewilderment.

Chapter III: Poor Thing

“Trust me, it’ll take a lot more than ale to wash that taste out.” Katrina advised, watching Todd swish the liquor around in his mouth. “Come with me, and we’ll get you a nice tumbler of gin.”

He rose and followed the baker past the counter and through a hallway to her living quarters, only partly listening as she talked of her little home as the two entered the living room, which was decorated with floral-patterned wallpaper and various porcelain knick-knacks.

“You keep a room over the shop, don’t you? If times are so hard, why don’t you rent it out?” Todd asked, pausing to gaze up the stairway to the second story of the building.

Katrina followed his gaze. “Up there? No one will go near it.” she paused and met his eye. “People think it’s haunted.”

“Haunted?”

“And who’s to say they’re wrong? Years ago something happened up there. Something not very nice.”

“There was a barber and his wife

And he was beautiful,

A proper artist with a knife,

But they transported him for life.

And he was beautiful!

Barker, his name was. Beyond Barker."

Todd kept his eyes focused on the carpet. "What was his crime?"

"Foolishness.

He had this wife, you see,

Pretty little thing,

Silly little nit.

Had her chance for the moon on a string.

Poor thing!

Poor thing!

There was this judge, you see.

Wanted her like mad,

Everyday he'd send her a flower.

But would she come down from her tower?

Sat up there and sobbed by the hour!

Poor fool!

Ah, but there was worse yet to come, poor thing!"

The tone of Katrina's tale intensified as she went on to tell the fate of the woman.

"Well, Beadle calls on her, all polite,

Poor thing!

Poor thing!

The judge, he tells her, is all contrite,

He blames himself for her dreadful plight

She must come straight to his house tonight!

Poor thing!

Poor thing!

Of course, when she goes there,

Poor thing!

Poor thing!

They're having this ball all in masks!

There's no one she knows there,

Poor dear,

Poor thing!

She wanders tormented and drinks,

Poor thing!

The judge has repented she thinks,

Poor thing!

'Oh where is Judge Yagami?' she asks.

He was there, alright,

Only not so contrite!

She wasn't no match for such craft, you see,

And everyone thought it so droll.

They figured she had to be daft, you see,

So all of them stood there and laughed, you see.

Poor soul!

Poor thing!"

"NO!" Todd leapt up, breathing heavily. "Would no one have mercy on her?"

"So it is you," Katrina whispered. "Beyond Barker!"

Todd continued as though he had not heard her. "Where's Naomi? Where's my wife?"

"She poisoned herself. Arsenic, from the apothecary around the corner. I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to me." she paused before dealing another blow to the distraught man. "And he's got your daughter."

"He?" the man's look of sorrow immediately turned to anger. "Judge Yagami?"

"Adopted her, like his own."

Todd turned away from the baker. "Fifteen years, sweating out on a false charge. Fifteen years dreaming I might come home to a wife and child."

"Can't say the years have been particularly kind to you, Mr. Barker..."

"No." Katrina took a step back as Todd spun around, eyes blazing. "Not Barker. That man is dead. It's Todd now; Sweeney Todd. And he will have his revenge."

Chapter IV: My Friends

Todd followed Katrina out into the small exterior portion of the shop, then up a flight of ancient wooden stairs to the second story. Like the pie shop, a bell tinkled when the baker opened the door at the top of the stairs, though this former shop varied greatly from her own. Torn wallpaper decorated the moldy walls, and dust covered the few pieces of furniture and the floor. Spying a rusting crib in the corner, Todd walked over and lifted a moth-eaten blanket off of it, revealing an old doll beneath. He stared blankly at the doll, which, at one time, had belonged to his infant daughter, Sora. A clattering from behind him drew him from his memories, and he turned to see that Katrina had removed one of the wooden floorboards, underneath of which was hidden a small, cloth-wrapped package.

“When the came for the girl, I hid them. Coulda sold them, but I didn’t.” she commented, handing him the parcel as he kneeled on the floor across from her.

Carefully, Todd folded back the flap of the cloth and pulled from it a flat, black box, which he opened to reveal several gleaming straight razors.

“Those handles is chased silver, ain’t they?” Katrina breathed, leaning closer so she could see the shining implements better.

“Silver. Yes.” he replied and tenderly, almost lovingly, lifted one of the razors from the velvet lining of the box.

“These are my friends,

See how the glisten.

See this one shine,

How he smiles

In the light.

My friends!

My faithful friends!

Speak to me friend.,

Whisper, I’ll listen.

I know, I know,

You’ve been lost out of sight

All these years,

Like me, my friend!’

Well, I’ve come home

To find you waiting,

Home,

And we’re together,

And we’ll do wonders,

Won’t we?”

Katrina rose from her position on the floor and slowly walked over to stand by Todd, adding her own voice to his song.

“You there my friend,”

“I’m your friend, too, Mr. Todd.”

“Come let me hold you.”

"If you only knew, Mr. Todd."

“Now, with a sigh”

“Oh, Mr. Todd,”

“You grow warm in my hand.”

“My friends!”

“You’ve come home!”

“My clever friends!”

“Always had a fondness for you, I did.’

“Rest now, my friend,’

“Never you fear, Mr. Todd,”

“Soon I’ll unfold you.”

“You can move in here, Mr. Todd.”

“Soon you’ll know”

“Splendors you never have dreamed!”

“All your days,”

“Will be yours”

“My lucky friend!”

“I’m your friend.”

“Till now your shine”

“Don’t they shine beautiful?”

“Was merely silver,”

“Silver’s good enough for me,”

“Friends!”

“Mr. T…”

“You shall drip rubies!

You’ll soon drip precious

Rubies.”

Katrina, who was now kneeling behind Todd in front of the large diagonal window, pressed her face to his neck. He caught her reflection in his razor and narrowed his eyes.

“Leave me.” he muttered, and the baker reluctantly got to her feet and exited the old shop. As soon as he heard the door close behind her, Todd rose and extended his arm towards the great window, allowing a grin as a rare ray of sun illuminated the razor held in his outstretched hand and turned his eyes a bloody crimson.

“At last,” he proclaimed, “my arm is complete again!”

*is waiting for ~A~ to appear near the end* lol

I adore reading it sfm

omg o.o i <333333333333333333333 sweeney todd

lol, A, I've got a good idea for your debut in mind! ^^